Trust no-one, believe nothing and question everything. It’s 1 April which means people and organisations everywhere are out to fool you. We’ve rounded up the best London-based April Fool’s jokes we’ve seen this year — including a couple that we wish were true. Read on with an abundance of cynicism.
Little Tikes’ Cozy Cab service
Remember those Little Tikes red and yellow cars you or your friends probably had when you were kids? The company behind them wants to help grown-up Londoners combat rising fuel costs with fuel-free taxi service, Cozy Cabs.
A fleet of adult-sized Cozy Coupes will be trialled across the capital in April, apparently, with self-pedalled vehicles for passengers of up to 6ft in height.
Glazey Skincare by Doughnut Time
Ubiquitous floury torus brand Doughnut Time reckons to be moving into the cosmetics industry with the launch of a new line, Glazey Skincare, featuring moisturiser, cleanser, and body wash. They’re even claiming celeb fans, with Hailey Beiber quoted as saying “If you’re not going to bed looking like a glazed doughnut, then you’re not doing the right thing.”
Pasta Evangelists to launch Sunday Roast Spaghetti
Italian recipe box brand Pasta Evangelists is blending British and Italian cuisine with the launch of a new Sunday Roast Spaghetti. Described as “A British-Italian fusion unlike any other”. The dish features spaghetti, a whole roast poussin, a Yorkshire pudding base, roast potatoes, greens and baby carrots, all doused in a hearty dose of gravy. Is today’s date getting to us or… is that actually not a terrible idea?
Skyscreen advertising underneath planes
Londoners living beneath the Heathrow flight path could soon have something new to look at, if audio-visual company Inurface Media are to be believed. They’ve announced pie-in-the-sky plans for digital advertising LED screens to be placed on the underside of planes in UK airspace, providing a place for advertisers to promote their products to those on the ground below.
The way everything’s monetised these days, we give it 10 years before this one becomes a reality.
In-palm implants at Gymbox
Fitness chain Gymbox wants to make access to its premises easier for its members, by use of new technology, the Handfob™. It’s an implant inserted under the skin on their palm allowing them to waltz into the gym with just a tap of their wrist.
The device apparently also measure blood pressure, oxygen, distance and speed. Again, wouldn’t be surprised to see fitness trackers going this way in the not-too-distant future — a commuter managed a similar thing with his Oyster card back in 2015.
Skiddle’s ‘Festi-Smell’ candles
Of all your fond festival memories, we’re guessing the smell of the experience isn’t one of them. Yet ticketing platform Skiddle has announced a new Festiv’eau candle, which releases that festival smell (grass stains, pints, burger vans and… portaloos) when lit, so you can relive the experience all year round. Lovely.
Buckingham Palace tube station to open to the public
IanVisits is focusing on the private tube station rumoured to exist underneath Buckingham Palace, saying it’s opening to the public for the first time this summer, as part of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations.
Night Crossrail service to open in May
Diamond Geezer announces that when the Elizabeth line opens, a ‘Night Crossrail’ service will run, similar to the Night Tube, to make the most of the new infrastructure built for the line.